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September 28, 2016
BORN AT DAWN was lucky enough to attend a CONFIDENCE CONFERENCE yesterday hosted by Mothers Meeting and The Step Up Club.
Alice and Phanella from the STEP UP CLUB talked about confidence and how every single woman, no matter who they are, has issues with it from time to time.
They discussed Donald Winnicott’s theory of “The Good Enough Mother” and how in a way that could be applied to confidence, as you would never be completely confident all of the time, but the aim was to become “Confident Enough”. They also discussed the cycle often used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (pictured) and how our thoughts affect our beliefs and our beliefs ultimately affect our behaviour.Therefore, if we have a task ahead of us, if we have negative thoughts surrounding our ability to do it, this will make us believe we can’t do it. Then ultimately we may end up not doing very well at it because we have gone it to it with low self-belief. This poor performance may then fuel these doubts further.
The trick is to interrupt the cycle. Try and stop the negative thoughts coming in the first place by keeping a positivity log. Note down what has gone well at the end of each day, save emails complimenting you etc. Then go through these once a week and remind yourself of your achievements.
You can also interrupt the cycle at the behaviours stage by opening up your body language and concentrating on your breathing to slow your breath and calm you down. There is lots of interesting research on body language and high power poses if you are interested on reading further.
Try taking baby steps and setting yourself 3 goals on something you find daunting, number 1 being relatively easy but then 2 and 3 harder. The more you encourage yourself to do something, the easier it will become.
If you are interested in learning more check out their book here. We will also have a little interview with Alice and Phanella coming up in the near future so keep your eyes out for that.
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